Too much?
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Have u ever felt guilty doing something that is actually the right thing to do? That is, if u define helping someone in need as the right thing to do.Friendships and obligations. I once heard someone thinks that friendships are troublesome coz of obligations. Meaning, if u're a close friend of someone, u're supposed to be on her side (at least if u can't prove that she's wrong), to always support her and also to trust her judgment. Problems appear when u find out that things are not as simple as it seems, coz it's not as clear as black and white. There are a lot of gray areas, such as in cases of misunderstanding.
I'm facing such situation now. There's someone I recently got to know better. It started out with him needing my help. I've known him as one of my close friend's great 'enemy'. At first, he was more of a stranger to me and since it wasn't much a help, I just helped him willingly, keeping in mind not to forget about his tarnished reputation, thanks to my friend. And so I intended to keep our friendship as 'the helper and the helped' only. Turned out that he's far from what I had imagined him to be, which of course was nowhere close to being 'a nice guy'. He's actually quite nice and fun to talk to. But u know how the real problem appears?? It's not by failing to keep the friendship as 'the helper and the helped'. It's the exact opposite. It ironically turns out that he CONSTANTLY needs my help in a lot of things, from IT stuffs, admin stuffs, translating French, lending things, giving medicine to even cooking!!! Haizz.... Almost EVERYDAY he'll find something that needs my help and surely u'll have to chat when u're with someone else. That's how we kinda grew closer (as friends only, of course).
But now I'm feeling guilty towards my friend (the one who hates him. Haha...) The thing is I don't think she's wrong for being angry with him (coz he was being a total jerk to her). But I've once asked about it to the guy and he made it sound as if it was just a misunderstanding, I didn't probe further but I wouldn't say I trust him 100%. Oh well, nvm... Just that I'm too much of a chicken to tell her about my new found friend who's constantly in need of help coz I can just imagine what her reaction wud be. Sigh... So recently I started to be reluctant to help and sometimes even show it purposely. Besides, to tell the truth, sometimes I'm kinda bothered by his always depending on me, too (though I know often he really needs to).
Oh well... Next topic.
My JC friend came to Paris last Saturday!!! It really felt unbelievable for us to able to meet there in Paris. Had a great time with her together. I brought her around with another friend to see a few places in Paris. We had a fun time taking pics. LOL. We just walked around the whole day then we ate French food for dinner. Tried the famous 'foie gras' (duck liver). It was bluekkk. None of us liked it. It tasted bad, I think. Until now I wonder why it's just so famous. Sent her back to her hostel before we headed home. But we got pretty lost trying to find the location of her hostel.
